The Boston Bombings

Tuesday morning I was awakened by a frantic phone call from one of my neighbors telling me bombs are going off in Boston. As I poured over news online and called family and friends from home, a deep sickened feeling slowly settled into my stomach and horror and disgust washed over me. Neighbors came over and asked me what was going on, everywhere I went in my village for several days people asked me questions about the bombs that I simply couldn't, and can't, answer. I am told repeatedly that my home is not safe, that I should buy plane tickets for my family and move them to my village in Thailand. Here I am safe, I am protected, I am loved. My friends here question how I can love Boston so much, how I can want to go back there. They ask me why this happened, who did it. Why do people hate America, why do people want to hurt us?  They start talking about the bombers being Muslims, and suggest that I must hate all Muslims and be scared of them. They mention how all Muslims in America right now must be scared to leave their homes, how we must want to hurt them, to exact revenge. I try to explain that I do not blame events like this on an entire group of people, but on the few who actually committed and helped plan the crime. 

I struggle to come to grips with what happened, work through my horror, my grief, my worry for my family and my friends. At the same time I know I have to say something to the people in my village. I need to explain to them that that is my home, that it is a part of me, and that while there are crazy, evil people out there, overall we are good. I tell them to watch the news and see the people running to help. Look at all the police, medical personnel, good samaritans who put their lives at risk. America is good, it is full of loving, amazing people. Every country has the crazies, the people who hurt others, murder, rape, and rob. But I believe that every single country has more good than evil. When something like this happens and no one runs to help is when we really need to start to worry. When someone is raped or killed and there are bystanders that don’t step in is when real evil rears its head. 

The third goal of Peace Corps is to help increase the understanding of Americans to host country nationals. This is my chance to do just that, to help them see past the horror and see a city, a country, that pulled together and is forming a unified front to get through this horrendous time. I want them to see the Americans of different religions, different races that ran to help and continue to offer support. I want them to see the Carlos Arredonondos of the world. I am the only American they actually know, the only real example they have of what Americans are like. I want them to be able to look at me, and the friends and family that come visit my village, and see examples of the good in America. I hope that they will be able to see beyond our village, beyond this country, and recognize how many good people there are in the world and how that good can always overcome the evil. I want them to see that this horrible event hasn't filled my heart with hate. I don't hate the country these brothers were born in, or their religion.

While I will never be able to explain this tragedy to my friends and family here in Thailand, I hope that they will be able to see the good that becomes evident when evil strikes. I hope that they will be able to understand why I love my home, my city, and the amazing strength and courage that Bostonians showed after the bombings.

Food!

Since coming to Thailand my view on food has changed quite a bit. One year ago I couldn't manage to eat squash, many kinds of fish, anything with strange textures, or even zucchini. I wasn't the pickiest of eaters, but I certainly wasn't the most adventuresome either. One year later I have had pig brain, intestine, liver, fried bugs, ants, ant eggs, fish eyes, and so many other things that I can't even remember because it just isn't a big deal anymore. As you can imagine, Thai food in the village is a bit different from the food you might order at a Thai restaurant in America. Most dishes have very strong flavors, usually involving lots of spice. If it is a non spicy dish it is sure to be sweet, salty, sour, or bitter. Any "plain" foods just won't cut it. Thai people generally eat rice at least three times a day and are amazed when I tell them I would eat rice about three times a month in America. This is always followed up with questions on how I have survived so long and what exactly did I actually eat in America? Bread, pizza, and hamburgers? I've been here so long now I am beginning to wonder how I survived on such a small amount of rice too. The other day I made an egg and then went to the neighbors to get rice for my egg because I simply couldn't imagine eating an egg without rice. I didn't even realize how strange that was until I started thinking about this blog post.

A typical day for me involves a breakfast of yoghurt and fruit, or oatmeal and fruit. Sometimes I mix it up and make pancakes, eggs, or cinnamon buns but I generally don't eat Thai food for breakfast. I stock up on huge containers of oatmeal when I go into town, and buy yoghurt whenever I can find it. The first question I get asked every day at work is what I ate for breakfast. When I respond everyone says "ohhhh" and shakes their heads in horror. They simply can't imagine how I make it to lunch without eating rice. For some reason this question never seems to get old.

For lunch during the work week I almost always go to a small restaurant with a few of my coworkers. Restaurant in this context is almost certainly not what you are picturing in your mind. Sometimes we sit on the floor on bamboo mat, on a small wooden platform, or on the ground. Other times we sit at folding tables on plastic chairs. Meals are generally around 30 baht, or 1USD. Most of the time the restaurant is just someone who sets up a stove along the side of the road. Our choices are either noodle restaurants or rice restaurants. Noodle soups are common for lunch and are served piping hot with balls of pork and fresh vegetables. Rice restaurants serve dishes like basil fried pork, coconut curry dishes, and all the dishes you might see on a Thai menu in America with a big heaping pile of rice.

Dinner is my favorite meal of the day. I usually go to my neighbors house (I call them my host family but they really aren't) and share a meal with them. I always try to cook a small dish at my house to bring over but that doesn't always happen. I make things like stir fried vegetables, spaghetti, an omelet, or one of the few Thai dishes I can actually make. Most of the time my family picks at my food a bit and once in a while they actually really like it. My host mom usually makes two dishes every night and they are generally Northern Thai food. I love her food and have not turned down a single dish she has offered me. We often have heaping piles of fresh steamed vegetables, a hot soup, a pork dish, and a spicy dipping sauce. A few times a month all the families in my compound kill a chicken and make Thai Chicken Noodle Soup which I can't get enough of. They recently decided that they think I am allergic to this dish (I had a crazy allergic reaction the day after eating it) but I refuse to be told I can't eat it. Every night my two sisters, my host mom, and I sit on a bamboo mat on the floor in a circle with the dishes in between us and a large container of sticky rice. All bowls are communal and we all just dig in. We grab a clump of sticky rice, roll it into a small ball, and reach in with our right hand to grab a bit of food and eat it with the sticky rice. Some dishes require a spoon, but more often than not we eat with just our hands. The ball of sticky rice is used to sort of scoop the food from the bowl. Nearly every bite of food that goes into our mouths includes sticky rice. The rice helps even out the strong flavors, has a nice texture, and makes us full. I love sticky rice now but still don't eat it when one of the dishes contains noodles, or when I make potatoes. After dinner everyone drinks a nice cold glass of water from the communal cup.

Aside from the three regular meals we are always snacking. Sometimes snacks involve fried bananas, fresh fruit, jelly desserts, or homemade rice snacks. Basically everywhere I turn someone is trying to feed me.

On to the pictures!

My host mom in her kitchen. There is a banana tree right outside the window that we can reach out and grab bananas from.

Everything is made by sitting on the floor! Kitchen counters don't exist in my neighborhood.

Eating dinner. My sister was trying to avoid this picture.

Kitchen sink area.

To wash the dishes we fill the black bucket with water then scoop water with the small pink bucket and dump it on the dishes, scrub them with soap, then rinse them with some more water. There is a small bucket to the right that you can barely see in this picture that we put all the scraps in for the pigs. Nothing goes in the trash.

Typical dinner. Sticky rice, boiled mushrooms, green vegetable and pork stir fry, red chili dipping paste, and fresh bamboo with noodles.

 Making naam prk ong, my favorite dish! Put garlic, red onions, lots of dried chili peppers in the mortar and pestle. Cook with ground pork, crab paste, soy sauce and a bit of water. 

Chili dipping sauce, Naam prik ong, Spicy mango salad, sticky rice, cucumbers.

Lunch of fried rice.

One of my other favorite dishes, kanom chen naam ngiew. The large dark brown chunks are congealed blood cubes.

Same dish with that sauce put on noodles, add in some fried garlic and parsley.

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Ants and larvae, yumm.

The only way to eat fish so you can enjoy every last part of it.

Gheng Keio wan, no clue what it is called in English but it has chicken, veggies, and a coconut curry sauce.

Snack time at the office

Two of my favorite fruits.

One of the restaurants we eat at pretty regularly. It's outside with a tin roof and we sit on a raised platform, no chairs.

Som Dtam or Spicy papaya salad. Usually is very spicy and has whole crabs along with fermented fish.

That's all for now. I'm off to Bangkok on Friday, visiting my host family, Mid service conference for Peace Corps, then spending a long weekend at a bungalow Cave Lodge in Mae Hong Son. Soon after that is the Songkran Festival (water throwing festival). It's going to be a busy April. I won't have my computer with me for a bit, but will try to update when I can. Happy Easter!

I've been avoiding posting for awhile now because I had been having a rough few weeks. I was frustrated at work, feeling useless, and constantly aggravated with a few of my coworkers. I couldn't get anyone to  agree to a project and was told to jai-yen-yen (relax) and just play on the internet all day. I started leaving my office and spending more times at the schools and at the health centers and things have finally started turning around. I have a few projects I am currently working on (sex ed, world map, dengue traps and environmental activities) and have lots of work to do to get these projects ready. None of the projects are actually with my office, but a few of my coworkers help me translate materials and lesson plans. I am still coming into the office regularly, but realized that in order to be productive and happy I needed to branch out a bit more. I am no longer going to sit around waiting for my coworkers to give me the green light on a project. After going through a rough patch for a few weeks I have come out happier and more content than before. I think I had been in a lull before and didn't realize it until things got hard and I had to find a way to deal with it and come out stronger.

Today marks one year at site, and one year until I will be leaving Thailand (assuming everything goes according to plan). It's strange to think that one year from today I'll be saying goodbye to my village and heading to PC offices in Bangkok to check out. I had expected that I would feel excited when I reached the one year mark, but instead I feel kind of sad and nervous. I want to accomplish so much more here and really make a difference, but at the speed projects happen here I don't know how much I will realistically be able to do.  I know that the next year is going to fly by and next thing I know I'll be boarding a plane and heading back to America!

I don't have any exciting stories or pictures to share today, but I promise a whole post full of pictures when March is over. I've been doing an activity that another volunteer created taking one picture a day off a list she made, so I promise to upload those once I'm done. I've also been taking pictures of my host moms amazing food that I will post about next week. I hope you are all enjoying the snow while I'm over here suffering through 90 degree nights...

This morning I woke up to birds chirping on my windowsill as sunlight streamed through the windows rousing me from a great nights sleep. As I drowsed under a light sheet I dreamed of waking up during a beautiful summer's day on Cape Cod and wandering downstairs to find my family lounging on the porch with fresh brewed cups of hazelnut coffee while my dad cooked up a batch of pancakes. I dreamed of the normalcy of life at home and a day spent with family. All I wanted was a day lounging on the beach collecting sea glass, teaching my niece to swim, and spending time with those I love. After waking up and shaking of this nostalgia for home I stumbled sleepily downstairs and got ready for the day.

Instead of the day at the beach I imagined, I spent the morning teaching English to High School students. They were crazy and out of control, but somehow we made it work and ended up learning and having fun at the same time. On days when I miss home, spending time with the kids and being surrounded by their enthusiasm and excitement keeps me going. It's been a slow few weeks at site as I try to get a few more projects started. It's very hard to begin planning projects here, so at this point I don't know if any of the projects I have recently proposed will actually happen. It's a waiting game as plans get approved and budgets agreed on. But if I simply sit back and wait I will go crazy with boredom and the projects will never happen. If I've learned anything in the past year it's how to be pushy. I write meeting times on peoples calendars so they can't say they forgot, call people to remind them to be somewhere, talk to the boss myself, and force people to get things done. If I didn't do this I can guarantee I would not have completed a single project in the last year. To keep myself busy I've been spending more times at the schools and health centers. I even have two new projects I hope to plan with one of the schools and new projects with the health center. Now I just need the green light on one of my proposals so I can get to work.

In other news, two weeks ago I spent a week with the newest group of Peace Corps Thailand trainees. I couldn't help reminiscing about my 10 weeks of training last year and how many things have changed since then. They are excited, energized and ready to go. It was great to be around them, teaching them about life in Thailand and leading some sessions about teaching English and Sexual Reproductive Health. They reminded me of what my group was like last year and made me miss language classes, biking home with friends, and the craziness of PST. Fortunately, my group will be reunited in Bangkok next month for our midservice conference and medical checkups.

I'm planning on writing a few blog posts about more specific topics like food, temples, and family life so if you have any suggestions or anything you would like to learn about life in Thailand let me know! I also took a few videos of the kids learning to make s'mores with some marshmallows I found in Bangkok, so maybe a video will be appearing one of these days if I can figure out how to shrink the size.

Update and Vacation Pictures

The last few weeks at site have been surprisingly rewarding, productive, and fun. I thought that transitioning back to life in my village would be challenging after my parents departure, but fortunately I had plenty of things to keep myself busy. Last week I taught an 8 day English conversation course for the informal education office and had an amazing time. My students were all adults who were eager to learn english and excited to come everyday. By the end of the program most students could hold basic conversations about their age, birthday, job, time, daily routines, emotions, and places. They learned to ask and answer questions, and learned nearly 200 vocabulary words. Everyday we began class by reviewing all of the conversation we had already learned, which I think really helped them put it all together. Hopefully some of these students will actually go on to use what they learned. With ASEAN coming up soon and Thailand falling behind and lacking English speaking people, there is a huge push throughout the country to learn English.

After the English course was over I taught a one day baking course. Most Thai people have no idea how to bake, and after news of my baking expertise spread many people expressed interest in learning how to bake a few simple things. I taught ten women how to make chocolate cake, white cake, chocolate frosting, buttercream frosting, and snickerdoodles. They all whipped out their notebooks and wrote down everything I said. Ideally, some of these women will purchase a small oven together (they are about 30USD) and start a business selling cakes and cookies in the market to raise a little extra money for their families. 

This week I'm busy preparing lessons for the newest group of Peace Corps Thailand trainees who arrived in Thailand last month. I was lucky to be chosen to help with their training and am excited to meet the new group, be inspired by their excitement and energy, and spend a week in a hotel with hot water. I'll be heading to their training site next week (a 14 hour trip) and will teach them about Sexual Education in Thailand, Gender Issues, and Teaching English. The neighborhood kids are already complaining about me leaving again so I've been spending plenty of time playing with them and going on long bike rides after work.

I didn't take any pictures of the two projects I completed this week, but here are some pictures from my parents vacation...

Bus ride on the way to meet my parents. It was several hours long, no air conditioning, and I didn't have a seat. After standing for the first 2 hours I couldn't take it anymore and sat down on the floor surrounded by the smell of sweaty feet. Not sure why I look so happy...

Boat trip on the way to the Island we stayed on. Excited to begin our adventure.

 Sitting on the floor for dinner. Typical Thai style sitting, but at a pizza place!

 Check out that baby bottle of milk.

Mom and dad got to meet a few of my Peace Corps friends and we took a kayaking trip around the limestone cliffs.

Sunset from a small island in the middle of the sea.

Sitting in a cattle car to take our luggage down to the beach as we headed off the island.

 Wat Doi Suthep in Chiang Mai. After a very long, very windy ride sitting in the back of a truck to the top of this mountain, the highest point in Thailand, we finally arrived.

Elephants!

I thought for sure my mom was going to wimp out, but she surprised me and acted like a pro (sorta).

Short hike to a massive waterfall in Chiang Mai. You can't see too much of the fall in any of the pictures.

A man in his barley field.

Hanging out in a field of lavender.

Mom and Al acting goofy.

"Soo Quan" ceremony to wish my parents good luck, safe travels, and health. Notice the massive amount of string tied on our wrists. My little house was packed with the village elders all sitting on the floor while the kids and younger people sat on bamboo mats outside.

Mom and dad trying to make heart shapes with their hands... dorks.

Dancing down the street to the temple for a monk ordination.

Dad impressing the kids with his height.

Making a birthday cake with the neighborhood kids.

My Parent's Perspective

The following post was written by my parents about the two weeks they spent with me traveling around Thailand and visiting my village. It gives a new, different perspective on Thailand and on my home. Pictures to follow some time this week. Enjoy!


“Sawatdee krap,” “korp kun krap,” and “check bin krap” (hello, thank you and check please) was about all the Thai that I, as a language challenged American, could handle.  Of course it was handy having a Thai fluent daughter/PC Volunteer at my side.  After what seemed like a never ending flight from Boston my wife and I met up with our daughter/translator/tour guide in Krabi and took a long tail boat to Railay, a beach area accessible only by boat and frequented by people from many countries enjoying the warm weather for their winter vacation.  Everyone seemed to speak a different language although English was the language most had some ability to speak.  The warm beach was a welcome change from the snow that we left behind in Boston.  We enjoyed kayaking with two other PC volunteers, hiking through a “diamond” cave and a six hour sunset cruise which included dinner on a secluded beach and snorkeling – all for $33 per person.  The boat crew was friendly and enjoyed joking around with the tourists.  When the crew learned that Kayla spoke Thai and that she lived in Thailand the first question they asked was weather she had a boyfriend.  The most exciting event in Krabi/Railay was when Kayla was attacked by a monkey that jumped off the roof of a building as we were trying to take its picture.  This was not a little monkey – standing on its hind legs it was probably four feet tall.  They look cute from a distance but more ferocious up-close.  The monkey was probably after Kayla’s sunglasses or bottle of soda but Kayla screamed at the monkey and he ran away leaving only a scratch on the arm.  Kayla’s mother ran away as soon as she saw the monkey approaching (“what kind of a mother am I?” she said later recounting how she left her daughter to fend for herself in such circumstances).  Kayla also was able to enjoy a pizza, something she has not had in quite a while.  We learned that she had a craving for some American types of food.

From Krabi we flew to Chiang Mai, way to the north, and enjoyed seeing Wat Doi Suthep, a Buddhist temple dating back to the 1300’s situated on a mountain top, a beautiful waterfall, the market areas, and took a river cruise on a snake boat narrated by an entertaining 80 year old guide (again, when the guide learned that Kayla spoke Thai and lived in Thailand we were no longer tourists but long lost friends).  Kayla eventually got tired of her mother telling everyone that Kayla lived in Thailand because it forced her to go through a long explanation of what she was doing etc.  Kayla just wanted to be on vacation.  We stayed at “The Secret Garden” which was a wonderful spot with European style breakfasts and Thai dinners run by Peter (from Bavaria but a long time resident of Thailand), his wife Pi (Thai) and their daughter Isabel.  They were tireless in making the Garden a memorable place to stay.  In Chiang Mai we were also able to fulfill one of Kayla’s wishes and get some Mexican food.  She eventually had a burger (albeit chicken) in the airport in Chiang Rai to satisfy her craving for some home style food.

One of the big events was a visit to an elephant ranch that cared for and protected elephants (not all elephant ranches are elephant friendly).  Kayla and her mom rode an elephant (I decided not to and told everyone it was because of my bad back but it was really due to my fear of animals with really huge floppy ears).  After feeding the elephants huge bunches of bananas and sugar cane everyone practiced shouting the commands for stop, go, left, right and sit.  Then there was practice on getting on and off the elephants and a short practice ride.  Then off to the jungle for a 1 and ½ hour ride.  I stayed back at the ranch and caught up on my reading.  Once they returned it was off to the pond to wash the elephants.  The elephants also use the pond as a toilet but, according to our guide, not to worry.  Their stuff floats to the top so you won’t step in it.  When Kayla’s mom heard this she suddenly got a sore back and decided it would be better to stand outside the pond with me and let Kayla wash the elephant.

Then we took a bus to Chiang Rai where we were met by “Al”, one of Kayla’s friends from the village where she lives.  Al planned a wonderful day in Chiang Rai and took us to a magical flower show, an equally magical all white wat and a farm owned by the Singa Brewery where there were acres upon acres of rolling hills covered with, flowers, tea plants and barley. We also went to a walking street (a market where just about everything is for sale) that evening. Al and Kayla would ramble on, laughing and joking in Thai, and then Kayla would translate for us.  Al went to college in Chiang Rai so she knew all the sites and all the back roads.

Al then drove us to their village – a quiet (usually) farming village of hard working but fun loving Thais.  This was our first chance to really get to know the Thai people.  “We’ll need ear plugs” Kayla said the day before we got to her village.  She had been receiving calls from her friends in the village during our vacation.  They just wanted to make sure she was OK.  One call mentioned that the son of one of Kayla’s neighbors was going to be ordained as a monk and the party for that was scheduled for the day we arrived at the village with the ordination the following morning.  The party meant singing and dancing with music (contemporary Thai) blasting from the back of a pickup truck that had two huge speakers (perhaps better suited to announcing the teams at a football stadium).  We went to bed at around 10:00 pm, the party was still rocking and Kayla’s house was actually vibrating.  The ear plugs, which Kayla had a supply of because of prior similar events, did little good.  The next morning a parade went from the neighbor’s house to the nearby wat for the ordination.  A crowd of about 50 villagers and three Americans (yes Kayla and her two parents) danced along with the group.  Behind the dancers was a pickup truck with the monk sitting in the back on a thrown type chair followed by what can best be described as a handmade float (think Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade but on a smaller scale) being carried by 8 men, and then followed by the sound truck.  The one quarter mile walk to the wat took about one hour as the dancers slowly led the procession.  Kayla’s mother made instant friends as she exhibited her Thai dancing abilities.

Over the next few days we had the pleasure of meeting many of Kayla’s friends and neighbors.  We learned why Thailand is known as the land of a thousand smiles.  We learned why Kayla is so fond of Thailand and the people of Thailand.  Kayla had warned us that after being out of her house for two weeks the lizards that somehow find their way into her home would have made a big mess inside that would take some time to clean up.  But when we arrived Kayla’s friend and host mom was coming out of Kayla’s house, mop in hand, having just finished making the house spotless for out arrival.  There was a continuous parade of neighbors of all ages, individually and in groups, who came to greet us, say hello, offer us food and just generally making us feel very special and very welcome.  The hospitality offered by so many kind people was overwhelming and showed us how well liked Kayla was and how special the people of her village were.  As parents we are all concerned about the safety and well being of our children, regardless of their age.  Kayla’s friends and neighbors understood this and many of them told us not to worry about Kayla, that “don’t worry, she is like a daughter to us, we will take care of her.”  They said what we wanted to hear and their sincerity was obvious.  Not that we needed this reassurance, as we know Kayla is capable, but knowing the kind of people that she is surrounded by in Thailand is reassuring.

Among the visitors were a number of children who would wander over, again in groups or individually, just to say hello, play games and just have fun.  Kayla’s home seems to be a community center for the kids.  We played cards, drew pictures and even baked a birthday cake with the kids for the birthday of another of Kayla’s good friends, Dteo.  The recipe was in English and Nadia, the oldest of the group, translated the recipe into Thai so that the younger kids could measure out the flour, cocoa, etc.  (Kayla takes every opportunity to use an activity as an English class.  The country is trying to become more English speaking and English is taught to all school children.).  Kim, Boat, Bombay, Akate and several other kids helped bake the cake which, despite Kayla’s very limited kitchen, turned out great.  Later we took the cake to Dteo’s home for a fun birthday party.

The “elders of the village” came over the day before we left for home and performed a good luck ceremony, tying strings on our wrists while whispering their wishes for a safe journey, good health, etc.  It was a touching experience and we were left with lots of strings on our wrists.

We took a day and visited a health clinic that Kayla is involved with, spoke with several people there who brought us food and drink.  Then we visited a kindergarten class where Kayla and the two of us got involved in several games, again as a bridge to learning English.  Then we visited a high school where, because of my height (about 6’5”) I became an instant celebrity.  The students all wanted to get in pictures with me and Kayla’s mom.  Then we took them outside and taught them the Hokey Pokey (“you put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about…”) in English, of course.  That was followed by a traditional Thai dance that the students showed us.  A great time was had by all.

At Kayla’s village we were awoken by roosters (at around 4:00 am), viewed her huge “bee” tree out her back window (the biggest tree I have seen other than a Sequoia) that the villagers climb to take honey from the large bee hives, walked Kayla’s running route and enjoyed the marvelous vistas of the valley that leads to mountains in the distance, slept under mandatory mosquito nets, saw how little Kayla needs to survive on (a hotplate, rice cooker, and an “oven” that looks like a glass crock pot and has room to make 4 cookies at a time), took cold showers as Kayla has no hot water, and watched young kids dance Gangnam Style at the Children’s Day event at the town offices.  We were amazed at how completely Kayla had become a member of her community, had learned to live in a situation that most Americans could not imagine, had developed true friendship and gained the respect from her neighbors and the people in schools, health clinics and other places where she has worked so hard to improve the lives of the people.  The nearest PC volunteer or American is a several hour bus ride away, making her assimilation into the community necessary but even more amazing.  Also we were able to meet the people Kayla lives near and works with – we got to know her Thai neighbors and friends – we learned how kind, thoughtful, caring and friendly they all were.  Other than spending time with our daughter after not being with her for a year, meeting all of these people, old and young, was the best part of the trip.  All we can say to all of those people is korp kun krap.  Thank you for being who you are, thank you for making our trip truly memorable, thank you for supporting Kayla in her work.

One Year In

Twelve months. Have I really been here that long already? Has it really only been twelve months? Sometimes it feels like time is flying by while other times it crawls along.

In the past year I've found cockroaches in my purse, killed massive spiders, and screamed in terror upon spotting a scorpion. I've been told I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm beautiful, I'm skinny.  I've watched the sky light up with stunning shades of pink and orange as the sun sets during my nightly bike ride with the neighborhood children. I've enjoyed countless meals sitting on a bamboo mat, eating sticky rice, and digging into communal bowls with my hands as I laugh and joke with my host family. I've played game after game of UNO with the children while older neighbors stop by and smile. I've been woken up at 4am by roosters, 5am by the neighbors tractors, and 6am by screaming children asking me to come out and play. I've been laughed at for language mistakes. I've been laughed at for cultural mishaps and misunderstandings. I've become outraged at the way overweight people, dark skinned people, disabled people and anyone who is different are viewed and treated by many Thai people I know. I've participated in weddings, funerals, graduations. I've become a part of my community. I've made friendships both in my community and with other volunteers that will last a lifetime. I've thought about having to leave here one day and knowing that it is going to break my heart. Other days I've thought about how desperately I want to go home, how desperately I want to be back in America surrounded by my family, surrounded by people who understand me.  I dream about warm showers, cozy couch cushions, and layers of blankets.

This last year has changed me in more ways than I can even begin to explain, in more ways than I even realize. It has made me more outgoing and confident, more accepting of criticism, more understanding of other cultures, stronger in my beliefs, and a better public speaker. I've learned many life lessons the hard way this year. I've been lonelier than ever before, yet at the same time more a part of a community than ever before. I've become outraged at some of the things that have been said to me, than later become close friends with the person who said them. I've been perplexed, confused, and dumfounded by the culture and people of Thailand, and still experience all of these emotions several times a week. I've learned to relax more, go with the flow, accept the fact that nothing ever happens when it it supposed to. I've learned to become more Thai while not losing my American ways. I've learned to integrate while still holding onto what makes me me.

Twelve months and I have already grown and experienced more than I could have imagined. I still have fourteen months left here. Fourteen more months to experience the roller coaster of emotions that seems to come hand in hand with being a PCV.