My Parent's Perspective

The following post was written by my parents about the two weeks they spent with me traveling around Thailand and visiting my village. It gives a new, different perspective on Thailand and on my home. Pictures to follow some time this week. Enjoy!


“Sawatdee krap,” “korp kun krap,” and “check bin krap” (hello, thank you and check please) was about all the Thai that I, as a language challenged American, could handle.  Of course it was handy having a Thai fluent daughter/PC Volunteer at my side.  After what seemed like a never ending flight from Boston my wife and I met up with our daughter/translator/tour guide in Krabi and took a long tail boat to Railay, a beach area accessible only by boat and frequented by people from many countries enjoying the warm weather for their winter vacation.  Everyone seemed to speak a different language although English was the language most had some ability to speak.  The warm beach was a welcome change from the snow that we left behind in Boston.  We enjoyed kayaking with two other PC volunteers, hiking through a “diamond” cave and a six hour sunset cruise which included dinner on a secluded beach and snorkeling – all for $33 per person.  The boat crew was friendly and enjoyed joking around with the tourists.  When the crew learned that Kayla spoke Thai and that she lived in Thailand the first question they asked was weather she had a boyfriend.  The most exciting event in Krabi/Railay was when Kayla was attacked by a monkey that jumped off the roof of a building as we were trying to take its picture.  This was not a little monkey – standing on its hind legs it was probably four feet tall.  They look cute from a distance but more ferocious up-close.  The monkey was probably after Kayla’s sunglasses or bottle of soda but Kayla screamed at the monkey and he ran away leaving only a scratch on the arm.  Kayla’s mother ran away as soon as she saw the monkey approaching (“what kind of a mother am I?” she said later recounting how she left her daughter to fend for herself in such circumstances).  Kayla also was able to enjoy a pizza, something she has not had in quite a while.  We learned that she had a craving for some American types of food.

From Krabi we flew to Chiang Mai, way to the north, and enjoyed seeing Wat Doi Suthep, a Buddhist temple dating back to the 1300’s situated on a mountain top, a beautiful waterfall, the market areas, and took a river cruise on a snake boat narrated by an entertaining 80 year old guide (again, when the guide learned that Kayla spoke Thai and lived in Thailand we were no longer tourists but long lost friends).  Kayla eventually got tired of her mother telling everyone that Kayla lived in Thailand because it forced her to go through a long explanation of what she was doing etc.  Kayla just wanted to be on vacation.  We stayed at “The Secret Garden” which was a wonderful spot with European style breakfasts and Thai dinners run by Peter (from Bavaria but a long time resident of Thailand), his wife Pi (Thai) and their daughter Isabel.  They were tireless in making the Garden a memorable place to stay.  In Chiang Mai we were also able to fulfill one of Kayla’s wishes and get some Mexican food.  She eventually had a burger (albeit chicken) in the airport in Chiang Rai to satisfy her craving for some home style food.

One of the big events was a visit to an elephant ranch that cared for and protected elephants (not all elephant ranches are elephant friendly).  Kayla and her mom rode an elephant (I decided not to and told everyone it was because of my bad back but it was really due to my fear of animals with really huge floppy ears).  After feeding the elephants huge bunches of bananas and sugar cane everyone practiced shouting the commands for stop, go, left, right and sit.  Then there was practice on getting on and off the elephants and a short practice ride.  Then off to the jungle for a 1 and ½ hour ride.  I stayed back at the ranch and caught up on my reading.  Once they returned it was off to the pond to wash the elephants.  The elephants also use the pond as a toilet but, according to our guide, not to worry.  Their stuff floats to the top so you won’t step in it.  When Kayla’s mom heard this she suddenly got a sore back and decided it would be better to stand outside the pond with me and let Kayla wash the elephant.

Then we took a bus to Chiang Rai where we were met by “Al”, one of Kayla’s friends from the village where she lives.  Al planned a wonderful day in Chiang Rai and took us to a magical flower show, an equally magical all white wat and a farm owned by the Singa Brewery where there were acres upon acres of rolling hills covered with, flowers, tea plants and barley. We also went to a walking street (a market where just about everything is for sale) that evening. Al and Kayla would ramble on, laughing and joking in Thai, and then Kayla would translate for us.  Al went to college in Chiang Rai so she knew all the sites and all the back roads.

Al then drove us to their village – a quiet (usually) farming village of hard working but fun loving Thais.  This was our first chance to really get to know the Thai people.  “We’ll need ear plugs” Kayla said the day before we got to her village.  She had been receiving calls from her friends in the village during our vacation.  They just wanted to make sure she was OK.  One call mentioned that the son of one of Kayla’s neighbors was going to be ordained as a monk and the party for that was scheduled for the day we arrived at the village with the ordination the following morning.  The party meant singing and dancing with music (contemporary Thai) blasting from the back of a pickup truck that had two huge speakers (perhaps better suited to announcing the teams at a football stadium).  We went to bed at around 10:00 pm, the party was still rocking and Kayla’s house was actually vibrating.  The ear plugs, which Kayla had a supply of because of prior similar events, did little good.  The next morning a parade went from the neighbor’s house to the nearby wat for the ordination.  A crowd of about 50 villagers and three Americans (yes Kayla and her two parents) danced along with the group.  Behind the dancers was a pickup truck with the monk sitting in the back on a thrown type chair followed by what can best be described as a handmade float (think Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade but on a smaller scale) being carried by 8 men, and then followed by the sound truck.  The one quarter mile walk to the wat took about one hour as the dancers slowly led the procession.  Kayla’s mother made instant friends as she exhibited her Thai dancing abilities.

Over the next few days we had the pleasure of meeting many of Kayla’s friends and neighbors.  We learned why Thailand is known as the land of a thousand smiles.  We learned why Kayla is so fond of Thailand and the people of Thailand.  Kayla had warned us that after being out of her house for two weeks the lizards that somehow find their way into her home would have made a big mess inside that would take some time to clean up.  But when we arrived Kayla’s friend and host mom was coming out of Kayla’s house, mop in hand, having just finished making the house spotless for out arrival.  There was a continuous parade of neighbors of all ages, individually and in groups, who came to greet us, say hello, offer us food and just generally making us feel very special and very welcome.  The hospitality offered by so many kind people was overwhelming and showed us how well liked Kayla was and how special the people of her village were.  As parents we are all concerned about the safety and well being of our children, regardless of their age.  Kayla’s friends and neighbors understood this and many of them told us not to worry about Kayla, that “don’t worry, she is like a daughter to us, we will take care of her.”  They said what we wanted to hear and their sincerity was obvious.  Not that we needed this reassurance, as we know Kayla is capable, but knowing the kind of people that she is surrounded by in Thailand is reassuring.

Among the visitors were a number of children who would wander over, again in groups or individually, just to say hello, play games and just have fun.  Kayla’s home seems to be a community center for the kids.  We played cards, drew pictures and even baked a birthday cake with the kids for the birthday of another of Kayla’s good friends, Dteo.  The recipe was in English and Nadia, the oldest of the group, translated the recipe into Thai so that the younger kids could measure out the flour, cocoa, etc.  (Kayla takes every opportunity to use an activity as an English class.  The country is trying to become more English speaking and English is taught to all school children.).  Kim, Boat, Bombay, Akate and several other kids helped bake the cake which, despite Kayla’s very limited kitchen, turned out great.  Later we took the cake to Dteo’s home for a fun birthday party.

The “elders of the village” came over the day before we left for home and performed a good luck ceremony, tying strings on our wrists while whispering their wishes for a safe journey, good health, etc.  It was a touching experience and we were left with lots of strings on our wrists.

We took a day and visited a health clinic that Kayla is involved with, spoke with several people there who brought us food and drink.  Then we visited a kindergarten class where Kayla and the two of us got involved in several games, again as a bridge to learning English.  Then we visited a high school where, because of my height (about 6’5”) I became an instant celebrity.  The students all wanted to get in pictures with me and Kayla’s mom.  Then we took them outside and taught them the Hokey Pokey (“you put your right hand in, you put your right hand out, you put your right hand in and you shake it all about…”) in English, of course.  That was followed by a traditional Thai dance that the students showed us.  A great time was had by all.

At Kayla’s village we were awoken by roosters (at around 4:00 am), viewed her huge “bee” tree out her back window (the biggest tree I have seen other than a Sequoia) that the villagers climb to take honey from the large bee hives, walked Kayla’s running route and enjoyed the marvelous vistas of the valley that leads to mountains in the distance, slept under mandatory mosquito nets, saw how little Kayla needs to survive on (a hotplate, rice cooker, and an “oven” that looks like a glass crock pot and has room to make 4 cookies at a time), took cold showers as Kayla has no hot water, and watched young kids dance Gangnam Style at the Children’s Day event at the town offices.  We were amazed at how completely Kayla had become a member of her community, had learned to live in a situation that most Americans could not imagine, had developed true friendship and gained the respect from her neighbors and the people in schools, health clinics and other places where she has worked so hard to improve the lives of the people.  The nearest PC volunteer or American is a several hour bus ride away, making her assimilation into the community necessary but even more amazing.  Also we were able to meet the people Kayla lives near and works with – we got to know her Thai neighbors and friends – we learned how kind, thoughtful, caring and friendly they all were.  Other than spending time with our daughter after not being with her for a year, meeting all of these people, old and young, was the best part of the trip.  All we can say to all of those people is korp kun krap.  Thank you for being who you are, thank you for making our trip truly memorable, thank you for supporting Kayla in her work.

One Year In

Twelve months. Have I really been here that long already? Has it really only been twelve months? Sometimes it feels like time is flying by while other times it crawls along.

In the past year I've found cockroaches in my purse, killed massive spiders, and screamed in terror upon spotting a scorpion. I've been told I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm beautiful, I'm skinny.  I've watched the sky light up with stunning shades of pink and orange as the sun sets during my nightly bike ride with the neighborhood children. I've enjoyed countless meals sitting on a bamboo mat, eating sticky rice, and digging into communal bowls with my hands as I laugh and joke with my host family. I've played game after game of UNO with the children while older neighbors stop by and smile. I've been woken up at 4am by roosters, 5am by the neighbors tractors, and 6am by screaming children asking me to come out and play. I've been laughed at for language mistakes. I've been laughed at for cultural mishaps and misunderstandings. I've become outraged at the way overweight people, dark skinned people, disabled people and anyone who is different are viewed and treated by many Thai people I know. I've participated in weddings, funerals, graduations. I've become a part of my community. I've made friendships both in my community and with other volunteers that will last a lifetime. I've thought about having to leave here one day and knowing that it is going to break my heart. Other days I've thought about how desperately I want to go home, how desperately I want to be back in America surrounded by my family, surrounded by people who understand me.  I dream about warm showers, cozy couch cushions, and layers of blankets.

This last year has changed me in more ways than I can even begin to explain, in more ways than I even realize. It has made me more outgoing and confident, more accepting of criticism, more understanding of other cultures, stronger in my beliefs, and a better public speaker. I've learned many life lessons the hard way this year. I've been lonelier than ever before, yet at the same time more a part of a community than ever before. I've become outraged at some of the things that have been said to me, than later become close friends with the person who said them. I've been perplexed, confused, and dumfounded by the culture and people of Thailand, and still experience all of these emotions several times a week. I've learned to relax more, go with the flow, accept the fact that nothing ever happens when it it supposed to. I've learned to become more Thai while not losing my American ways. I've learned to integrate while still holding onto what makes me me.

Twelve months and I have already grown and experienced more than I could have imagined. I still have fourteen months left here. Fourteen more months to experience the roller coaster of emotions that seems to come hand in hand with being a PCV.