Being Fat in Thailand

One of the first comments I get from people when they see me is inevitably about my weight. People love commenting on how fat I am. In our very first meeting I will often be asked how much I weigh. If I do tell them how much they will usually burst out laughing. They then try to grab my stomach and check out my big butt. Thai people call overweight people ouan (fat) as a nickname. No one is exempt from this scrutiny. Little children, babies, adults, males, females. Everyone. It breaks my heart when the kids in the neighborhood run around chasing my overweight 8 year neighbor, calling her mean names, and cracking jokes about how fat she is. I tell her she is beautiful every chance I get and won't let the kids talk about her weight at my house. None of the kids parents think this is a problem and will often join in commenting on her weight.

This week I tried to buy a pair of sweatpants with a few of my coworkers. I found a pair I wanted in a medium and went to try them on. When the women found out I was trying on a medium they all exclaimed that my big butt could never fit into those pants. I ignored them and tried the pants on anyways and of course they fit. I assumed this would end the conversation, but I was so very wrong. They pulled out a pair of XL and handed them to me saying these will fit you much better. As I was standing there right in front of them wearing the medium pants that were not tight at all I couldn't understand why they were trying to hand me an XL. I pointed at my pants and told them to look saying a medium fits me perfectly. They said no, a Thai person can wear those not you. I humored them and went to try on the XL which were gigantic and I could hardly walk in them without tripping. They insisted that the XL fit me perfectly and I should buy them. I ignored them and bought the pants I wanted.

Things like this happen to me regularly and I have learned to laugh them off and just accept it is as part of my life here. They aren't saying these things to be mean or to hurt my feelings. It is simply the way things are done here and how blunt Thai people can be about certain subjects. People can ask you your weight, your salary, your age, your marital status all within minutes of meeting you and it's not strange at all. Sometimes I have to remind people to ask me my name before getting so personal.

I have explained to many of the women here that in America they would never be able to talk like that to people. It is rude, and mean, and they may even get punched in the face. After 7 months here I am now comfortable laughing about my weight (I still don't consider myself fat even after 7 months of hearing it nearly daily). I am comfortable grabbing someones stomach before they can grab mine, making jokes about how my big butt is sexy in America, and ignoring rude comments. This week I heard someone compare me to the size of a pig, and after a second off shock, I ignored them and went on with my day. For many volunteers in Thailand this becomes a major issue. It happens to most of us no matter how skinny or fat we are, and if we don't learn to laugh it off and live with it it can tear us down and destroy all confidence we had. For me it has made me stronger. I don't need anyones approval or praise. I can brush comments off about my clothing, my weight, my skin, my frizzy hair, anything. I have become far more confident and have completely changed my whole self-image. This isn't to say that I would want anyone to go through what we deal with daily here, and I definitely don't thing it is a good thing to teach children.

There are certainly some things I don't like about living in Thailand. Some of the culture I will never get used to, and some of the people will always drive me crazy, just like some people in America will always drive me crazy. But despite everything I am still confident that at this moment this is where I want to be. I am happy here, I am making a difference, and my life has already been changed forever.